The Things I Fear The Most
by Anniebear91
Summary: Puppyshipping. SetoxJou. Set in the future Kaiba feels guilty after losing the love of his life. An unexpected blast from the past shakes up his whole life as he aims to set things right. A little OOC, a little dramatic. If you liked DIOTB you'll like it
1. Chapter 1

The Things I Fear the Most.

_Ok so I'm not going to give loads away. I'm bored so it'll be a short story over a few chapters. I haven't forgot about the other stories. I'm just on an extended break._

_Boy and Boy. No likey…no ready._

The rain drummed like a chorus against the glass wall behind him. The orange street lights from below oozed through into the darkened room. The lights were off and the only noise was the buzzing hum of the computer, slicing through the silence, cutting in half. The machine dolled out a cold blue hue making the room icy and emotionless. The screen was still. The familiar clacking of keys had died long ago and the fingers lay numb on the desk.

The entire house was empty. The corridors were lifeless and the rooms were empty vacuums, sucking the warmth and breath from everything within their grasp. He was totally alone and had been for some time now. His brother had left for college and all the happiness and warmth had gone with him. He seldom called now. He had friends. A girlfriend. Maybe she was a fiancé now? Who knew? It didn't matter anymore.

Others had passed through the doors since. 'Guests', 'entertainers' and even 'professionals' but they had been and gone like a flame in the wind. They had no meaning, no purpose. They had been nothing more than mere fancies or attempts since _he _had left, and when he did he dragged out any hope of happiness. He destroyed and stood upon the last remains of care and emotion. _He _had taken everything. Without him, money was but paper. Without him, the home was but a house. Without him, love was but a memory.

It had been horrible when Mokuba had left. He had lost the one person who was constant in his life, the one person who he trusted and cared for. But it had only been weeks before he came across _him _and he was something entirely different. He was everything that Kaiba had yearned to be. He was fun and careless yet proper. He was beautiful and elegant and, for a while, he was his. But then, as quickly as he had come, he had left. Destroying everything. Ruining all the plans and all the beauty. He stripped Seto of everything he was and intended to become. And he _hated _him for it.

Analytical blue eyes stared into the nothingness above the screen. The room was black and tidy. Proper. Exactly how he liked it. There were no posters or albums or bottles or books. It was empty. Like a hotel. Nothing there that needn't be. Except for the photo besides him. Cast in a wooden frame, the face held eternally smiling, cursed forever to hold that pose and stare back at him through the bonds of glossed paper behind a prison of glass. Seto's eyes fell lazily upon it, the corners of his mouth twitched slightly with the remnants of emotion. It flickered away and his mask was back. Two fingers lightly dusted the top of the frame as thunder cracked in the night outside and lightening illuminated his pale face. He started into the frozen eyes of the photograph, his heart racing under his chest as he inhaled. Since he left he had done no work. Since he left he had been nothing but a machine, mere circuits and precisions, functioning mechanically and seamlessly without real thought and certainly emotion. His thumb swept across the glass and down the cheek of the man in the picture before his icy eyes narrowed viciously and he slammed the photo face down.

Frost laced through his blood and suffocated his veins. His throat seized up as the air failed to reach his lungs. He gasped several times and clenched his fingers rising to his feet and staring at the downturned frame. His eyes burned with salt and water that would never leave them. He was done thinking about him. He would not come back. He was gone. He was but a memory, a corpse.

He shut down the computer and marched into the bathroom and slammed the door. His emotions were leaking through, scorching him inside out. He stared at his red eyes in the mirror and turned on the tap. He splashed his face several times before he dared to check himself once more. His reflection was unforgiving and honest. It showed him for the human he was and he despised that. With a yell he threw the towel at the glass, urging it to stop its persistent watching. When it did not yield he turned on the shower and stood under it. His clothes clung to his slender frame and the water washed away his tears. No one would see this. This was his secret, his life inside private walls. No one need know and no one could tell. It was just him. Him and the photographs, closed away and beyond reach of anyone else.

When the last of the tears had bled out, he turned of the water and pulled off the clothes, leaving them sodden on the cold plated floor. He collected the towel from the floor and wrapped himself in it before pulling on his nightwear and sitting on the edge of the bed. He ran a hand through his damp hair and stared out into the night, letting the thunder and lightening put him at ease. He watched the rain batter the glass before he decided to pull the curtains shut and attempt to sleep. Since he had gone he had been plagued by nightmares of what could have been. What _should _have been. His head firmly on the pillow he closed his eyes and pushed the thoughts to the pit of his stomach. There they could boil all they liked, they wouldn't reach his head. He turned over onto his side and began counting the hours until morning, until he would have to face another day without him.

Thoughts slowly seeped back through. As soon as he could find someone else to blame for _his _death, they would pay dearly.

_Ok, so new, sombre story. Only a few chapters, maybe 5/6._

_What you think?_

_Dedicating this story to Simoncelli, one of my favourite riders who was killed today on the track. Absolutely horrified and GP will never be the same without him._

_Seems the death of moto riders puts me in a writing mood after last time with DIOTB…it's so sad. It makes me miss Hannah even more_

_Anyway, enough sadness from me,_

_Please_

_R&R_

_Much love_

_AB_

_x_


	2. Chapter 2

The office seemed daunting. It had done for a while. He stood in the great elevator watching the lights click upwards until they reached the top floor and an overly cheerful 'ping' sounded his arrival. He stepped out into the red hall, surrounded by plush carpets and mahogany walls. He pressed his hand into the sensor under the panel besides the door. It scanned, he waited and then the door clicked leaving him free to enter.

It was a simple office. Clinically white with a black leather sofa and glass desk. Smudgeless and see through, exactly how it should be. When he sat down in the large chair the window behind him looked down onto the city below him, to the people who wandered aimlessly through their own pitiful lives, making ends meet or whatever it was they did nowadays. He pulled open his laptop and the infuriating hum cut through the room. There had been a time when that noise had comforted him, brought about some familiarity and knowingness. Now it was empty, a coven of wasps nesting in his work and waiting to sting, waiting to bring the next cruel blow upon him. His fingers danced across the keys, ticking away at the wasps inside. Something would happen. He didn't know when or how but it would and it would end it all. Him. The company. Everything. It didn't even matter anymore. Since _he'd _died, nothing mattered. Nothing. His life was empty and he existed only for the satisfaction of everyone else.

The machine on his left buzzed and a woman's voice sounded sharply over the intercom.

'Good Morning Mr Kaiba.' There was a silence as she waited for a response. None came. 'Jin is here with your morning coffee, I shall send him up. The morning reports are on your desk and I shall be faxing through today's schedule in a moment. Have a nice day.' The machine buzzed and her voice vanished from the room. Moments later a shrill knock clacked at the door. Kaiba stared at it for just a moment before sighing.

'Enter.' His voice was even and cool. The door nudged open and a little man with a trolly waddled inside. Upon the trolly were small baked goods, jugs of tea and coffee as well as paperwork, documents and stationary. He pulled a blue mug from the second shelf, polished it and poured a hot coffee into it. He placed the cup squarely on Kaiba's desk. He then collected the documents and papers and placed them before the brunet.

'Today's stats. Yesterdays figures from the stock market. Tomorrows predictions. Various ideas and suggestions from external companies and fans.' He bowed low and exited the room leaving the brunet alone.

For a few moments the brunet just stared at the new documents. He picked up the mug and let it burn his hands before he took a long, slow sip. He flicked through the pages the mass words a blur. They faded into the realms of meaninglessness and eventually the schedule was faxed through. He tore it out and looked it over. Four meetings. Two mergers. One press conference. Lunch was at 12.30. That was three hours away, which was far too long. He stared at the documents again before collecting a handful, his briefcase and coffee and heading out into the hall and down to the conference room.

The first meetings droned on with no events of interest. They had all been on stats and figures and projections. As far as he was concerned his staff should be competent enough to work everything out on their own and not need his say so on every detail. Unfortunately, last year he had given them this chance and profits had fallen for a month. He rubbed his temples. At least it was dinner time.

He headed into the elevator and waited until it reached the ground floor. Signing out he told the receptionist he was taking an hour and a half and to shift any meetings until his return. She nodded solemnly as her boss exited through the great glass doors.

Blue eyes scanned the surroundings. People everywhere seemed to rush around, arms flailing and bags flying. He hated that. He hated the urgency that so many people seemed to feel. Taking in a deep breath he walked out into the street and down the road. Cafes stood on every corner and restaurants on every block. He had tried and tested many of them and come across naught but disappointment. Finally settling on an Italian on the next street, he stepped out into the road and headed to the restaurant.

'Ah, Mr Kaiba!' Fabio smiled at him. The old man had seen him many a time and spoke in a rich southern Italian accent. He was broad in every sense of the word and his hair was slicked back, though stray curls escaped onto his face. 'Your usual table, si?' The brunet merely nodded and was ushered away to the back corner where he could watch the customers in silence and privacy. Just how he liked it. The menu was brought before him and he stared at it blankly. Whenever he was faced with food options, he suddenly wasn't very hungry.

He ordered something exotic sounded and waited as the staff ran around to prepare and bring his meal. A glass of rioja was placed before him and he sat, swirling the contents around and around.

Suddenly something outside caught his eyes, gone as soon as it came a bright flash of yellow hair pursued by a group of men. He watched the now clear street for a few moments.

It wouldn't be.

It wouldn't be.

_Here it is, chapter 2._

_I hope you like it, I'm gonna bed now as I have glorious work in the morning. I shall update again tomorrow._

_Please,_

_R&R_

_Much love_

_AB _

_x_


	3. Chapter 3

Kaiba bit his bottom lip and thought for a moment, his fore finger delicately making its way up to his mouth, tapping it slightly.

Katsuya Jounouchi.

_Hmmm._ He smiled to himself. Jounouchi had just ran past, chased by a group of less than pleasant people. He couldn't help but grin. He hated that idiot blond and was surprised he'd survived into his twenties. Blue eyes narrowed in amusement. If one thing could cheer him up, it'd be getting a kick out of watching Jounouchi get one.

Yes. He had decided. He nodded to the maître d' who was only vaguely aware that he wanted to eat his meal later. Kaiba left through the front door and walked briskly in the direction the blond had ran several minuets before.

His heels clicked on the pavement as he came to an ally where the blond was backed up against the walls. He had changed, but not much. His hair was still unruly and fell over his face in a manner that no one could achieve, even if they'd been dragged backwards through a bush. He was no taller but his shoulders were broader and his jaw was stronger. His features had become razor sharp and his eyes were muddy and gleaming. He was panting heavily and looking at the group through narrow eyes. Kaiba leant back casually against the wall and observed. He hoped for a little excitement.

'Where is it?' A hoarse voice crumpled the air. Jounouchi rolled his eyes.

'The hell if I know.' Two of the men advanced towards him. The blond merely looked at them with annoyance. They stopped, snarling.

'Quit fucking around. We know you have it.'

'Yeah. Quit fucking around.' The brown eyes man tilted his head, bored.

'Right.' His voice stung the air and the men looked him. He touched the hem of his jacket. 'I'll make you a deal.'

'You're in no position to bargain, Jounouchi.' The hoarse voice came again.

'I'll make you a deal.' The blond's lips curved upwards, Kaiba had to admit, for the dim blond, it looked almost menacing. The was a pause in the air.

'You can't do shit, Jounouchi.'

'Can't I?' the grin was widening. It was unnerving. He chuckled to himself. 'You wanna bet?' the group took a few steps back and Jou stepped forward for good measure. 'I don't have what you're looking for. In fact, if I had it, I'd give it ya. It's a useless piece of shit.' He stepped forward again. 'Now. I'm gonna give ya…' he looked at his wrist, his eyes narrowing with delight. '23 seconds to run before I kill ya.' He smiled and made eye contact with every man in the group… '19…' he sighed, '15'… '10…' the men glanced at each other and the blond began walking forwards gently teasing the ends of his coat. The men looked nervously around. '5'…suddenly without any warning they all turned around and bolted away shouting curses at the leering blond.

Their footsteps had died away in seconds and Jou dropped the smile. Claps echoed in the ally and he looked around at the figure stood with one foot up again the wall. His hands slapped together in sarcasm. Jou stared angrily.

'Nice show.' Kaiba's voice drifted over the airways like a ton of silk.

'What do you want, ass hole?' Jou was in no mood for this kind of rubbish today, it had already got off to a bad start, he didn't need some high school jerk making it worse.

'Merely spectating, mutt.' He glided over the man in the ally. 'It was quite a show.'

'Fuck off.' Jou rolled his eyes. 'I ain't got time for the likes of you.'

'The likes of me? Come come now, you don't think I scare as easily as your common little friends? Do you?' Kaiba smiled, amused at Jounouchi's attitude. Before the brunet knew what was going on, Jounouchi was stood three metres away, his right leg forward and one eye closed. His arm was extended and in his fingers was a silver revolver. 'Don't be stupid, Jounouchi.' Kaiba watched him coolly. He wouldn't dare. The revolver clicked in defiance.

Well, so be it.

Swiftly, Kaiba pulled a pistol from his inside pocket. Always good to be prepared, he mused to himself. He lifted the safety latch and pointed it idly at Jou. Brown eyes narrowed menacingly and stared into the icy sapphire.

'I could just as easily pull this trigger as you.' His voice was calm and collected. The blond was silent. 'In fact, it would be twice as easy and I'd be twice as fast.' He smiled. Jounouchi watched him, his wrist turning slowly as he cocked the gun. Blue eyes watched every slight movement. 'Don't be stupid, Jounouchi. If you fire that, I'll fire back. Your bullets are larger and heavier, they won't be as fast. With my reaction time, you'll die first. I shan't enjoy it.' He raised the gun to point at the blond's head.

'I'll defiantly enjoy it.' Jou lowered the gun, levelling it with Kaiba's stomach.

'You wouldn't kill me.' Confidence oozed in the air.

'No, the bullet and the bleeding would.' Kaiba snorted.

'Do it then.' He pressed the blond wondering how far he'd go. 'Shoot.' He grinned. Jou's eyes narrowed and he twisted his wrist quickly, flicked his finger and gunshot rattled the air…

_Hello._

_Next chapter for you. Maybe this story will be longer than planned._

_For everyone who thought it was Jou that was dead earlier…it wasn't. See, he's alive. Happy days._

_Thought I ought to get cracking seen as I go to Florida in 3 days (well, nearly 2) and I want to make sure there's a decent amount to go so I can complete it when I'm there._

_Anyway_

_I hope you like it_

_Please, R&R_

_Much love,_

_AB_

_x_


	4. Chapter 4

Kaiba's eyes widened. Pain seared through his body. Bewilderment overtook it. His blood ran through his veins like ice as he slowly craned his neck to the source of his pain.

Jounouchi looked at him, a bored expression plastered across his usually smug face. For the first time in his life, Seto Kaiba was at a loss for words. His mouth was open and his mirthlessly cold eyes fell upon the blond as he walked over. Clutching is leg, Seto fell to the floor and dropped the gun beside his chest. Pain swept through his body and he began to shiver violently. He was bleeding to death and he watched as his killed stood above him, remorseless. He thought for moments about seizing the gun, about firing it and avenging his death but the pain was too great and the world was too cold. It would be no good. He would die here, in a back alley in Domino and he'd never even get his lunch.

Jou rolled his eyes.

'Fucking pack that in.' His voice was patronising. 'It grazed you.' He walked a few paces beyond where the brunet lay and bent over to pick up a small object. He twirled it through his fingers a few times before walking back over, dropping it in front of Kaiba's face.

The metal canister clinked on the floor and rolled towards Seto's nose. He looked at the bullet, silver and scratched by gravel. It was bloodless. Slowly he removed his palms from his thigh. He saw the drizzle of blood across his palm and glared down at the scratch across his leg, the fabric of his pants barely frayed but enough to reveal a small hole where his skin was scratched. A thin wisp of blood had been absorbed by his pants. It looked like nothing more than a playground graze, a pitiful scratch from walking too close to a wall or a cut from catching yourself on a nail. He took a deep breath. _It was the shock. _He repeated to himself over and over as he slowly pulled himself to stand. He glared at Jounouchi as he dared to put the weight on his leg. It seemed to take it better than he'd expected. As he regained his posture he pulled himself back to full height and narrowed his eyes. Katsuya looked completely indifferent like he'd seen this scene a thousand times and new the ending. In fact, he knew more than the ending, he knew the movie word for word but was too bored to recite. Kaiba felt his rage bubble inside him at the jaded blond and his porcelain mask cracked.

'What the fuck did you do that for you stupid mutt!' Jou rolled his eyes and placed the gun inside his jacket. 'Fucking answer me or I'll shoot you down.'

'We've just proven that you don't have it in you, Kaiba. Even for the brief moment you thought your life was at stake, you couldn't pull the trigger.' The blond smirked. 'Now fuck off back to your world, Kaiba and stay out of mine.' Jou walked by Kaiba, the speed of his walk blowing the brown locks from sapphire eyes. Seto turned and watched. This wasn't over. He'd get Jounouchi back for this if it was the last thing he did.

By the time he'd gotten back to the office he'd already called the receptionist to have a new suit waiting for him. He refused to go into any meetings looking like some clumsy idiot who fell over on his dinner break. He was a CEO, the worlds youngest and most respected in his industry and what people thought mattered.

After changing he headed into the first meeting and stared at the men before him. Charts circled the walls full of speculations on the relations between video games and violence. Pie and linear graphs showed correlations between street crime and those who actively played games of a violent nature in their youth. Kaiba sat down and massaged his temples, it was all too ironic. He glanced at the documents below and began to scan through them, drawing lines and notes on anything important. He wasn't focussed enough to care about the actual meeting but the information seemed relevant, considering what had just happened. He felt his lips curve upward in a smile. Yes. He knew what he was going to do and he'd give that stupid blond the scare of his life. He hated street scum and he hated Jounouchi even more.

His heart stopped for a brief second as he thought back to a year ago. Back to him. Yes. Jounouchi would not only pay for shooting Kaiba, but for what happened back then.

_Hey_

_It's short I know. I haven't been in a very creative mood again. I spent more of November out of my own county than in it and then I changed jobs and I've had alsorts of stuff going on. It's been a bit chaotic recently to be totally honest. And now with Christmas coming up the rush begins again._

_I'll probably finish of 'the 12 days of christmas' from last year if anyone has a submission because they don't generally take me long. The info for it can be found on that story plus any submission info and last years stuff._

_Anyway, please forgive my lack of activity. Hope you like. Yes, it is puppyshipping but I don't like to rush. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are relationships, especially ones where you hate the other person, trust me I know, I have first hand experience!_

_Anyway, please R&R_

_Much love_

_AB_

_xx_


	5. Chapter 5

It was passed the hours of twilight outside and Kaiba was sat on the edge of his bed. He hadn't looked at the photo for days now and guilt was beginning to creep up on him. In his plot for revenge he'd forgotten him, he'd forgotten everything they had and were going to be. The memories cut through his mind and burned his eyes as he looked over to the frame that was turned away from him.

Revenge on Jounouchi wouldn't bring him back.

Nothing would.

He knew that more than anyone, after so many sleepless nights and painful days. He wouldn't come back. He pulled himself to his feet and slouched over to the frame and picked it up. He held it delicately in his hands like the thinnest sheet of glass. He examined the eyes that stared back, those eyes he'd never gaze into again. He felt himself choking and placed the frame back on the desk.

Jounouchi didn't kill him, but he'd pay for it anyway.

Clutching the desk he dragged himself to the front side of the desk and pulled on the top right hand drawer. It opened with an easy slide and he stared for a moment at the papers piled up inside. He let his finger drift across them for a moment, his heart pounding. He pulled the papers out and placed them squarely on the oak desk. He pressed the front edge of the bottom panel with two fingers and watched the back pop up. Slowly he lifted it out. Was he ready to use this? He swallowed. Placing the panel besides the papers he pulled up the item contained beneath.

Inside was a black diamond and platinum plated 1995 Desert Eagle Mark XIX. 10 inch barrel. .50 cal. 6 rounds. It was one of a kind. A gift to the late Gozaburo when Kaiba corp. was still a weapons manufacturer. It wasn't the best weapon in the arsenal, but it looked good and it'd do the job. Six rounds. That would be more than enough.

He twisted it in his hands and pressed his fingers against the surface. It was icy and rigid. Heavy in his hands. Gently he placed it on the desktop before replacing all the previous content. He felt an emotionless smile creep across his face. It wouldn't be long now until he'd hear the gentle click of the gun and he'd be done away with Jounouchi and all the guilt of his past, all the torment. He let his fingers brush over the weapon as he headed back to his bed, this time pulling himself under the sheets.

The night was long and sleep didn't come easily. The brunet spent all night in bed with the thoughts of his future act plaguing his mind like a living dream. He saw ghosts wander passed his bed and slip into the sheets with him and vanish before he could touch them to ensure their reality. They came and went all night. He came and went all night, his eyes burning through Seto, craving the justice he deserved.

When sleep finally came it was dark, dreamless and lonely and the only pleasantness in it was the thoughts of what tomorrow would bring. Kaiba flipped the pillow onto the cold side and let himself drift away. Tomorrow, it would end.

The alarm buzzed louder than usual and the air echoed with singing birds. Everything was shrill and the light was blinding. As he rolled out of bed, Kaiba kicked the empty bottle of Bourbon under the bed and pulled the curtains opened.

Something glinted on the desk, casting ribbons of circular light across the room. The Eagle. His eye fell on it for a moment and he felt last nights rush come back. His heart danced in his chest and his blood boiled in his veins. He smirked. Tearing himself a way he headed to the bathroom to prepare himself for the day. It was going to be a long one, but it would defiantly be one of the most satisfying.

Once dried and dressed, Kaiba found himself sitting at the table in his kitchen drinking espresso and reading the newspaper. Headlines droned on about violence in teenagers and celebrity affairs, none of which he cared much for at that time. He didn't bother to check the stocks, as he'd have been notified of anything major. Draining the cup he headed toward the door and collected his briefcase. Before he left he opened it a crack and checked the contents. Feeling content he clipped it shut and headed to the ready waiting limo.

The day was about to begin…

_So here's another chapter. Short again but I'm trying to post more often like I used to. I have a bit more free time (new job) but that seems to give me less free time (housework) but I seem to be staying up to write now (it's half 2 in the morning)_

_Yes, this is still a puppyshipping thing but I do like to be dramatic lol._

_The 12 days of Christmas from last year will resume from where it left off if anyone wants to send their own suggestions, please PM me._

_Anyway, I hope you like it,_

_Please_

_R&R  
>much love<em>

_AB_

_x_


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